Thought of committing suicide thrice: Mohammed Shami on darkest phase of life

India pacer Mohammed Shami has revealed that he thought of committing suicide thrice, while talking about the darkest moments of his life.

The right-arm quick missed 18 months of cricket due to a knee injury, post the 2015 World Cup, which turned out to be a stressful period for him.    

"When I got injured in the 2015 World cup, after that it took me 18 months to fully recover, that was the most painful time in my life, it was a very stressful period," Shami said during an Instagram Live chat with Rohit Sharma. "You know how rehabilitation troubles you. I had to face a lot of difficulties."

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Later, despite returning to the field after recovering from Injury, Shami was confronted with personal life problems and a car accident, couple of weeks before 2018 edition of Indian Premier League (IPL), which meant that he was unable to focus on cricket.   

"When I started playing again, I had to go through family problems. That was going on and then I had a car accident. I think that accident happened 10 or 12 days before the IPL (2018). And my family problems were high in the media,” he said. "At that time I think if my family would not have supported me, I would have lost my cricket. During that phase, believe it or not, I thought of committing suicide three times.”

“That was the level of stress I had in my head. It was a lot. I wasn't thinking about cricket. In my house, in my room, my family members were always around me to ensure I don't do something untoward. What I went through in that phase, how I got through that time. I didn't know when I was awake, when I was asleep,” he added. 

Shami has taken 180 wickets in 49 Tests at an average of 27.36. He has claimed 144 wickets at an average of 25.42 in 77 ODIs, while also bagging 12 wickets in 11 T20Is.